Pdf/E–pub [The Angel Wore Fangs Deadly Angels #7]

The Angel Wore Fangs Deadly Angels #7

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Stick Son of a biscotti Holy cannoli 16 The act that when Andrea Appetite first meets Cnut in modern day Pennsylvania theirst thing she says to him is Are you a Viking Yes I ask this uestion of all tall blond dudes I meet It s very normal 17 Daddy I need some money Can you send me ifty thousand dollars It s or a good cause Honestly DIRECT UOTE 18 I can t stop thinking about ducks lately I ve been absorbed with ducks in general Wait is that it Is Pete the Perv into ducks too 19 Suffice it to say if you get an email Cooking the Whole Foods Way: Your Complete, Everyday Guide to Healthy, Delicious Eating with 500 Recipes, Menus, Meal Planning, Techniques, Buying from Luciferhadescom you better answer I honestly think you re probably better off not answering any and all emailsrom that handle 20 The Pure Grit former Nazi general had a direct line to Satan s ear He was constantly name dropping as in Luce told me or When I was sharing aireball with Luce or While jogging with Luce last night Luce was his nickname Apple-Picking Day! for Lucifer Oh no way 21 The Nazi asshole was soull of it Everyone knew demons did not jog Tails and all that Man those Nazi assholes Don t they know ANYTHING22 In addition to running a Montana dude ranch ISIS also operates a lamenco dance club in Spain They re Renaissance terrorists I guess 23 ISIS dude ranch activities Riding lessons Koran study Fly ishing Holy yoga yoga is Buddhism not Islam but aight Sandra U do u Meditating with Allah Roping Understanding jihads Line dancing Internet recruitment Campfire sing alongs Capitalist devils I m not sure how this one is an activity but that s my main girl Sandra Ajax is All About Attack for you I cannot make this shit up This is why this book gotive stars America the Philosophical from the bottom of my heart She doesn t half ass anything 24 Nice picture that Cnut thought Not the maneuver but the pig sex Ah my mistake Fetish of the day is pigs not ducks25 I want so badly to explain to Sandra why if you were brought back to 850 AD your cell phone would not work and you would not be receiving emailsrom Vikarhotvangelscom on it But part of me wants deep in my heart to preserve her blissful ignorance 26 HAHAHA I was right about the Pete the Pervgolden showers guess Don t kink shame Sandra That s not very nice 27 Who says ood can t be sexy She winked knelt between his legs and showed him what she could do with a peppermint stick WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID THERE BECAUSE I THINK SHE GAVE HIM A BLOW JOB Sigh Oh Sandra Sandra Sandra Sandra 28 Condoms 1699 Pulling out 000 Andrea giving sex ed to a bunch of 9th century Viking women Priceless 29 Cock a doodle do OKAY I m taking a page out of Cnut s book Next time I want to have sex I m going to SOLICIT IT BY SAYING THIS TO MY PARTNER 30 it by saying this to my partner 30 she ound herself praying Are you there God It s me Andrea That sounds SO FAMILIAR I wonder where I ve Hmm31 The next book in the series is called Good Vampires Go to Heaven YES IT FUCKING IS Never ever change Sandra You re welcome everybody or reading that so to Heaven YES IT FUCKING IS Never ever change Sandra You re welcome everybody or reading that so wouldn t have to And now I need 75 drinks Sk l Abandoned about 40% in I expected dumb I did not expect boring I was promised time
"Travelling Biker Vampire Angel Vikings "
biker vampire angel vikings got a crappy Jennifer Aniston romcom What can you ask The Northman's Bride for when you get a story of Viking Vampires How about time traveling Viking Vampires Vangel that must infiltrate an ISIS compound because Demon Vampires have taken control of the group in order to harvest soulsor evilCnut was ound guilty of excessive gluttony given a choice of redemption Cnut must serve as a Vangel under the aithful watch of arch angel Michael Now a new improved Viking vampire Cnut is called out by Michael to bring down ISIS An impossible job Cherry Bomb for one person how is he to single handedlyind a way to do this Soon after Andrea walks into is detective agency handing him an in to ISIS on a platterher sister has been taken by ISIS and she needs help Leading the Way finding herAreak mishap during an emergency transportation and both Cnut and Andrea ind themselves back in Norseland where Cnut was the gluttonous warlord that made him into the man he is today Cnut ights his attraction to Andrea she will cause him to The Single Girl's Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids, and His Ex-Wife: Becoming a Stepmother with Humor and Grace face years of service to the Vangels even though Cnut is sure she is his other half The double agent vampire demon must choose between eternal hell or turn over Cnutor torture in his stead Will it strand Andrea in the past without saving her sister Will Cnut survive even a day in that kind of torment or loss his soul Hill s humor and wit shine through in The Angel Wore Fangs I don t know of many authors that can pull of humor when writing about ISIS the seven deadly sins and vampire demons but somehow she pulls it offIf you like light and When Red Cried Wolf fun with your paranormal romance then the The Angel Wore Fangs is a must readI received this ARC copy of The Angel Wore Fangsrom Avon in exchange or a honest review This book is set or publication May 21 2016My Rating 4 StarsWritten by Sandra HillSeries Deadly AngelsMass Market Paperback 384 pagesPublisher Avon Publication Date May 31 2016ISBN 10 0062356542ISBN 13 978 0062356543Genre Romantic Fantasy Barnes Nobl. M surprising Cnut with her bravery at every turn But with terrorists stalking the ranch in demonoid The World in the Curl: An Unconventional History of Surfing form Cnut tele transports Andrea and himself out of danger accidentally into the 10th Century Norselands Suddenly they have toind their way back to the Song of the Forest future to save heramily and the world and to satisfy their insatiable attraction. Nd Cnut have the sexual chemistry of two pieces of cardboard The sex scenes themselves are so cringeworthy that I kind of want to call up everybody who s ever read these books and tell them that sex is so much better than this And their dialogueoh my godno two people in the history of ever have spoken to each other the way they do If they re trying to be unny they re ailing If they re trying to be sexy it didn t work 8 There s some kink shaming involved a minor running joke about Pete the Pervert that turns out to be just an excuse to make A Constellation of Vital Phenomena fun of poor Pete because he was into something Andrea wasn t It sine if somebody s kink doesn t do it or you but to go out of your way to be mean is justwellmean9 The time travel element was handled poorly There s no logical explanation or why it happens and at Sextasy: Master the Timeless Techniques of Tantra, Tao, and the Kama Sutra to Take Lovemaking to New Heights first they only get pulled back a little bit in time to the Old West where it looks like the set of Bonanza complete with character look alikes Andrea s words not mine Then as if the author herself realized this was a poor choice the lovebirds are mysteriously yanked backurther to Viking days and Cnut s old stomping grounds I love me some time travel but if you want to write a time travel book just do it and don t go Still Life with Chickens for an elaborate set up involving ISIS10 All the Muslims in the book are terrorists and one of the chief demons is named Beltane So it s pretty clear that anybody who isn t Christian is terrible and deserves whatever they getDon t get me wrong I love me some crapiction However there s stuff you laugh WITH and stuff you laugh AT This book is sadly the latter Some of my complaints are readerly and some are personal Either way there s so much stuff in this Pandora s box it s really not worth Still Life with Chickens: Starting Over in a House by the Sea foisting it on your community as it will upset people than it pleases Given how popular it is elsewhere on Goodreads however you might want to think long and hard about your community and maybe purchase it anyway Or maybe wait until somebody asksor it and then pick it upGood luck my Paradox Bound friend And may whatever gods you believe in have mercy on your soul I m not exactly a genre romance reader Generally they make me want to repeatedly bang my skull into a hard object Nor blessedly would I describe myself as the sort of girl who reads books about vampire angel Vikings as a rule HOWEVER I was shall we say inspired by this tweet Hunted this baby down because don t youucking tell me you weren t intrigued the way you re intrigued by the way you can see your bone when you break your arm real bad by a book about a tubby time traveling motorcycle riding Barefoot Contessa watching vampire angel Viking named Cnutwho along with a spunky American chef named Andrea a cleverly disguised variation on the author Sandra s name has to save the world rom ISIS on a Montana dude ranch Sandra here has to save the world rom ISIS on a Montana dude ranch Sandra here t dick around Bring it the STFU, Parents: The Jaw-Dropping, Self-Indulgent, and Occasionally Rage-Inducing World of Parent Overshare fuck on Let s unpack what we have inside this little shop of horrors 1 The name Cnut Don t tell me that s not a typo 2 Sandra God bless youor inserting random Icelandic words into the text I need to get drukkinn tonight to purge my mind of your nonsense 3 bless my mind of your nonsense 3 Bless twice or adding strange British isms your nonsense 3 Bless twice or adding strange British isms hell when none of the characters are British nor do they ever travel to or even mention Great Britain and Sandra herself is Syncopated: An Anthology of Nonfiction Picto-Essays from Pennsylvania 4 St Michael the Archangel essentially plays Ghosts of Christmas PastPresentFuture to Cnut s Scrooge And he has a website And inexplicably speaks in Shakespearean English 5 What is a vangel A vangel is a Viking vampire angel who willight the Are All Guys Assholes?: More Than 1,000 Guys in 10 Cities Reveal Why They're Not, Why They Sometimes Act Like They Are, and How Understanding Their ... Will Solve Your Guy Drama Once and For All forces of Satan s Lucipires demon vampires who roam the world spreading evil Duh Cnut You re so dense 6 A rab Over and over and over and 7 Andrea s sister Celie joins ISIS and sends theam a video of her terroristing activities Andrea and her stepmom just chat about this on the phone like it s totally normal and on par with sister s previous stints with tattoos and body piercings 8 Curves out the wazoo 9 Celie drew men like What a Lass Wants flies or bees or whatever Yeah or whatever Fuck words Writing words is hard when you re a professional writer 10 Pete the Pervert He had the weirdestetish involving never mind Ohmigod Sandra you can t just do that What did it involve Small children Fire ants Pissing on hotel beds in Russia ormerly occupied by the president and the irst lady What 11 Can anyone say zip line through the rainforest Can anyone say Orville Redenbacher Can anyone say mothers don t let your daughters grow up to love cowboys Can anyone say Honey I have a headache I can say all those things Sandra Can t you Peppermint stick got your tongue More on this later12 Home sweet home or rather home sweet castle Aha Ahaha AHAHA GOOD ONE OMG THAT IS H I L A R I O U S GIRL YOU ARE SO FUNNY 13 Lizzie Borden works as a waitress at a vampire themepark in Pennsylvania Yes that Lizzie Borden14 Like a cock his Mexican Hooker fangs sometimes had a mind of their own Popping out with the least provocation 15 Andrea isms Holyreakin sex on Ting machine His new side job No biggie just ridding the world of a threat called ISIS while keeping the evil Lucipires demon vampires at bay So when chef Andrea Stewart hires him to rescue her sister rom a cult recruiting terrorists at a Montana dude ranch vangel turns cowboy Yeehaw The too tempting mortal insists on accompanying hi. 4 Coconut and Peppermint Stars The room smelled of sweet coconutAnd he was hit with yet another temptation powerful than that of ood or drink Blood drained rom his head and heat sizzled across his skin Suspicion at Seven: A Lois Meade Mystery from his scalp to the tips of hisingers and the ends of his curled toes Between his legs his balls shifted and his staff seemed to yawn and stretch and come to life If cocks could smile his was doing a happy dance of anticipation This was possibly one of the unniest books I ve read this year A book about a Viking guilty of glutton turned Angelic vampire sent on a uest to defeat Isis This was bound to either have me scratching my head in confusion or like my actual reaction have me in its of laughter This book was surprisingly light and The Day Fidel Died fluffy in a good way and while I thought the whole Isis thing didn t reallyit IN I DID REALLY ENJOY ITCNUT WHOSE NAME HAD I did really enjoy itCnut whose name had constantly calling him a really bad word is one of seven brothers who are also angelic vampires created to ight evil and they re lead by Michael the Arch angel Each brother is guilty of the one the seven sins Cnuts being glutton their penance is a 700 year stint in God s armyWhen Andrea s the romantic interest or lifemate sister goes missing and the private investigator her parents who promptly go on a boat cruise hired informs them that her sister Celie has joined Isis Andrea seeks out Cnut help to ind her sister Now again I really kinda elt like the Isis thing put a real damper on the story which is why I wasn t so sure if I was going to enjoy it in the beginning But luckily that all changedI haven t read the previous books in this series but trust me I totally kept up with everything and didn t eel like I was losing out but I will definitely be reading the other books in the series While searching Gulp!: The Seven-Day Crash Course to Master Fear and Break Through Any Challenge for Andrea s sister theyind themselves back in Cnuts old home Time travel anyone I really enjoyed this part of the story I loved how Cnut would call Andrea sweetling heartling or dearling It was so darn cuteI wasn t even sure I would like Cnut in the beginning since he weighed in at a hefty 400 pounds and let his people starve while he glutted lol And after he d lost all the weight only to end up The Outlaw and the Upstart King falling in love with a pastry chef Worst combination ever But I loved Andrea and Cnut together Andrea was a tough cookie to crack she had some hang ups about herself and I did get annoyed at her constantly comparing herself to everyone else And what was with her constantly swatting Cnut My goodness lol He grinned at her not taking her seriously at all Or so she thought Until he extended his ownorearm to show her the dark blond hairs raised like a ield of erotic antennaeCoconut tingles he explained Since I m a newbie to this series I was kinda thrown by how the author made these Angelica vampires devout Christians I just wasn t expecting it but it gelled so well with the storyline that I orgot about how highly irregular everything in this story is I ll definitely be reading of Hill s work especially Zeb the Hebrew s story ARC kindly provided by publisher in return Standing By: The Making of an American Military Family in a Time of War for an honest review I blame myself honestlyIt s always a bad idea to start with book seven in a series By the time most writers get to the end of a series they re tired They want to move on However if you tell me you ve written a book about a Viking vampire angel who s supposedlyighting ISIS well I have to know I am the author of all my own misfortunes hereMy grievances1 Supposedly ISIS gained a oothold on a Montana dude ranch because political correctness If your library is in a conservative community this may very well be ound amusing2 One of the demons is named Zebulon the Hebrew and is supposedly a double agent Stories for a Kindred Heart: Over 100 Treasures to Touch Your Soul for the Lord If he s really good he MAYBE might get to go to heaven and be an angel someday You can see where someolks might ind this problematic and you might want to avoid purchasing if your clientele is significantly Jewish3 Even trash iction should make a token attempt at justifying why things are the way they are We are never given even a shred of a good reason or why God in His infinite wisdom might want to create an army of Viking vampire angels aka vangels to ight evil in the world we are fight evil in the world We are to just take it on aith that God knows what he s doing Series writers should know to rehash backstory near the beginning of each new volume4 The archangel Michael is kind of an asshole which is just depressing5 Masturbation is considered a sin Everybody s entitled to their own beliefs but I d rather not be subjected to them6 Supposedly the hero and heroine know they are lifemates because they give off a strong pleasant smell to each other Andrea smells like coconut We know this because Cnut don t get me started on that name tells us so EVERY FIVE SENTENCES At least that s how it seems For his part Cnut smells like peppermint to Andrea and she can t shut up about it either WE GET IT YOU SMELL GOOD TO EACH OTHER OKAY7 Despite their protestations Andrea New York Times bestselling author Sandra Hill continues her sexy Deadly Angels series as a Viking vangel’s otherworldly mission pairs him with a beautiful chef who whets his thousand year old appetite Once guilty of the deadly sin of gluttony thousand year old Viking vampire angel Cnut Sigurdsson is now a lean mean vampire devil igh. ,

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